


Feel Something

by joshler_yo



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Depression, Fluff, High School AU, M/M, Mental Institution, Mute Tyler, Muteness, PTSD, Paranoia, Sad, Sad Tyler, Selective Muteness, Self Harm, Therapy, sad fic, tyler doesn't talk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-13 20:32:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11767824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshler_yo/pseuds/joshler_yo
Summary: Tyler Joseph has been through a lot. With all the pain he has been through, he feels numb. Tyler wants to feel something. He has developed bad ways of doing so.Enter Josh Dun, the goofy kid with a big heart and a warm smile, who shows him the not so bad part of this world, and makes him feel something.





	1. Dr. Read

**Author's Note:**

> soo this is a new story. i'm probably going to delete the other one i have, my writing was terrible and i'm just not happy with it. this story will have stuff i've been through myself as well as my own creativity for a story, so this is for both you and me. for you to enjoy, and for me to write down some of what i'm going/gone through. also, i'm aware this is a short chapter, but i promise they will get longer/post more. i hope you enjoy :)

 

"So, Tyler, we have 10 minutes left of our session. How about you at least tell me how your day went today? What did you do?"

 

_Nothing_.

 

Dr. Read sighed. "Listen Tyler... this is our third session, not one word. Can you at least nod or shake your head? I'm sure your mother would be proud of you if we were to accomplished some form of progress." Tyler frowned and stared at the floor. He's always wasting his mother's money. Even though he constantly felt like he was disappointing her, he couldn't waste anymore of her money. She didn't deserve that. Tyler looked up at his therapist and nodded in agreement.

 

"Excellent! I'm sure Mrs. Joseph will be glad. But just remember, everything that is said in this room is confidential. No one will know this information besides you and I, unless it puts you are anyone else in harm. Deal?"

 

Tyler felt tears coming when Dr. Read called his mother " _Mrs. Joseph_ ". He didn't want to think about that part of his life right now. He _knows_ his therapist will ask him about it, but he's absolutely dreading it. Tyler blinked his tears away, succeeding in not having his therapist notice. Tyler looked around the small room, his paranoia telling him to scope it out for any signs of cameras or anything of that kind. Obviously there wasn't, he was just paranoid. He's scared. He's always scared...

 

"Tyler? Are you still there?" Tyler snapped his head back up, startled from being interrupted from his thoughts. He gave a look that said _I'm sorry_ , and Dr. Read replied in response, "It's okay Tyler, it's okay. But does that plan sound good for you?" Tyler nodded his head. "Good. First question... Have you eaten today?" Dr. Read had to ask, he looked even smaller from his last visit that was only a week before. Tyler hesitated than decided to answer, shaking his head _no_. There's no point in lying anymore.

 

"Do you self harm?" Tyler's eyes widened and shook his head no a little quicker than normal, suddenly more subconscious of how he looked. He felt so vulnerable. This was a topic no one can know about. Dr. Read looked at Tyler, then his arms that were covered in a large black hoodie, then back at Tyler with an uncertain look. He wrote something on his clip board. Tyler noticed the action and his breathing became faster. He attempted to control it by squeezing his hands into a fist and taking a deep breath whenever his therapist looked down.

 

"You're doing great so far Tyler. I have a couple of more questions before you go if you don't mind." Tyler nodded his head to encourage him to keep going.

 

"Do you miss your father?"

 

Tyler stared at the floor, feeling the tears begging to fall. He slowly shook his head no. He doesn't want to talk about his father, he can't, he won't -

 

"What about Brendon? Do you miss him?"

 

Tyler ran.


	2. The Roof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning!! mentions of suicide and other things along those lines so PLEASe be careful, send me a message if you would rather me give you a summary of what happens without talking about the triggers.
> 
> basically though, tyler meets josh and tyler is sad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this update is a little longer but i hate what i write oh well, enjoy

After the session with his therapist, Tyler ran to his so called, "spot". His spot was the roof of his apartment building, in the "bad" part of town due to how little his mother was making with her new job. Tyler use to be the golden boy, known for his success in sports, his charming smile, and rich family. That all slipped through his fingers in a blink of an eye.

 

His parents got a divorce a few years ago. This led to his father leaving them. Tyler and the rest of his family had to move to what they could afford, the house the family previously lived in was far too much for only Tyler's mother to pay rent. This apartment became their new home. Tyler fell apart after they moved in, reality of the situation finally settling in. He was already struggling mentally, Tyler believes one of the reasons his father left them was because of his mental health. Tyler started talking to his dad, telling him he wasn't okay, he felt depressed and on edge all the time, and maybe even a break from basketball would help. Tyler's father reacted terribly, calling him a "baby" and telling Tyler he "made up all of that for attention". This then led to his parents even fighting more, his siblings hating him, and the beginning of what Tyler believes is the end. His father started drinking alcohol to distract himself from reality, having a drunk father wasn't helping everything that was going on. Maybe his father leaving was the best decision for everyone.

 

To this day, his father tries to see Zach, Jay, and Madison as much as he can, but Tyler... not so much. It's been 2 years, and his father hasn't even said so much of a happy birthday to him. Tyler sat on the roof, thinking of all of the events that led up to this moment. Could he of done something different? Is he over reacting? Why was he like this? Why is he always ruining things? His bad thoughts were interrupted by his phone going off- again.

 

Mom : where are you? what happened?

Mom : Tyler please text me back.

Mom : you better be home young man.

 

Tyler felt bad for making his mother worried. He just really didn't want to talk about what happened. He doesn't want to talk ever again. Well, he hasn't talked for awhile. Almost a year. A lot went down last year. It sent chills through his body, and he suddenly had an urge to self harm just from thinking about all of this. He tried forgetting about the ugly thought and texted his mother back.

 

Tyler : im okay, usual spot.

 

His mother knows about Tyler's spot. Instantly he got a message back from his overprotective mother.

 

Mom : Im back at the apartment if you need me. Don't do anything stupid.

 

Tyler read the message a few times. Obviously she meant don't kill himself. A bad voice in his head said

 

_**that's not stupid. quite smart actually.** _

 

Tyler shook his head, thinking that he could quite literally shake the thought away. He did that a lot when singing or writing songs. He gets super emotional. Tyler is emotional. Tyler moved from the lawn chair that was on the roof to the edge. He's done this far too many times before.

 

He climbed on the ledge and sat down, dangling his feet in mid-air. He held onto the ledge and looked up at the night sky, his hood falling off in the process. Tyler closed his eyes and took a deep breath in through his nose, and out of his mouth. The cold October air brushed against his skin, creating goosebumps that made him shiver. He liked it. The cold air made him feel more aware of being alive. Whether he liked being alive or not, it made him aware.

 

The bad voice snapped him out of his little daydream about the whole "life" talk he was having in his head, saying

 

_**you should do something stupid... like, maybe jumping off this roof. you'd be free! super simple too, you're already so close! it'd make so many lives easier, hell, maybe even your father will come back and support your family! that would make them so happy. make them happy Tyler. Do something right for once. Make someone happy, for once. do it-** _

 

"Hey man, are you good?" Tyler whipped his head around finding a complete stranger standing a few feet away from him. He tensed up and cowered away in fear, scared he'll get hurt or robbed or something. "Listen it's okay, I won't hurt you!" the man put up his hands as a form of evidence to what he's saying "I just came up here for some fresh air and saw you sitting on the ledge, so I got worried. Were you going to jump?" Tyler froze and just shook his head quickly, trying to convince the stranger as much as possible, not really knowing what else to do. Tyler thought about what he did and thought maybe he over convinced him and looked suspicious, but the man smiled and started walking over. "Oh, cool. I was getting worried there," the man chuckled and sat next to Tyler, still a good foot or two away from him. The man started feeling his pockets, searching from something, then dropping his hands to the sides in defeat. He looked over at Tyler who was still staring at the man, not having any clue what was happening. "Do you happen to have a cigarette and a lighter? I forgot mine in my apartment and I'm too lazy to go all the way back to get them." The man then smiled, as if his smile would convince Tyler more to give him what he wanted.

 

Not gonna lie, it worked, the man did have a really good smile, a row of straight white teeth causing a couple of really cute dimples in his cheeks.

 

_**What the hell, Tyler?** _

 

Tyler nodded his head and attempted a smile, trying not to scare or make the stranger worried. He felt for his own cigarettes and lighter, forgetting about them until just now. Tyler retrieved one for the stranger, grabbing one for himself as well. He handed the cigarette to the stranger, both of the boys putting it in their mouths. Tyler then lit his own cigarette, and turned to the stranger, lighting his for him. The blue haired stranger inhaled and exhaled, smoke escaping into the night air. Tyler thought the guy made it look cool... or even hot.

 

_**What the hell is wrong with you.** _

 

"Josh." Tyler looked at Josh, raising his eyebrow in confusion. "My name, it's Josh." Josh looked at Tyler with a small smile, waiting for Tyler to introduce himself. Tyler smiled back, then turned to look at the city at night awkwardly, knowing Josh was waiting for him to say something. It got chillingly quite, the tension was so thick he couldn't breathe. Finally, Josh spoke up. "So, not much of a talker, huh?" Josh looked at Tyler with a smile, trying to be playful. Tyler looked at Josh and shook his head no, and Josh caught the sadness in his eyes. His smile turned into a frown, and he became worried.

 

_**Good job, Tyler.** _

 

"Is everything okay? Why don't you talk?" Josh asked, as he scooted a little closer to the thin boy, he looked cute with his hoodie drowning his figure. He looked cozy. Tyler was about to shrug and wave him off, obviously not going to talk about anything, not out loud at least. "Oh right, I'm dumb. You don't like to talk." He chuckled from his dumb question, then became concerned again. Tyler nodded at his statement, confirming what he said.

 

"I have an idea." Josh declared, looking at the brunette. Tyler looked at Josh, waiting for what he had to say. "How about I give you my number, and we can text? No talking then? Deal?" Josh looked at the younger boy, almost as if he was using "puppy dog eyes." Tyler smiled, knowing that this guy probably wanted his number whether or not he talked. Lucky for him, Tyler complied and gave Josh his phone, signaling for him to type in his number. Josh handed his phone back to him, Tyler clicking on his new message.

 

New number: Hey, it's Josh.

Tyler: hi, I'm tyler

 

Tyler looked up and smiled. "I like it. Tyler. Suits you. So, is everything okay?" Tyler's smiled disappeared, and began to type a message on his phone.

 

Tyler: no

 

Josh looked at the sad boy, his heart breaking for him. For the little time he knew Tyler, he really grew a soft spot for the brunette. "Why? Did someone hurt you?"

 

A single tear rolled down Tyler's cheek as he stared back at Josh, which definitely answered is question. Another tear fell from his cheeks as he nodded his head. Then he mouthed to Josh, "it hurts so bad".

 

After that, all Tyler could remember was the comforting sound of Josh's voice, and the wetness on his cheeks and the soreness in his throat from his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment suggestions/comments please :)


End file.
